The Intimacies of Kisses
by snorting chords
Summary: After all, it's highly illogical to fall in love with a kiss. Alternatively known as "five kisses Nyota remembers".


**Disclaimer: **Obviously do not own this.

**A/N: **Just a little something I dreamt up while attempting to finish 'Of Pon Farr and Hover Bikes' (which shall be finished within the next day I promise) and pondering the ever interesting question: what's the most intimate place you can be kissed? You decide.

* * *

1

"And the boy did. And the tree was happy."

By the time Alhamisi closes the book, Nyota is already asleep, has been for a while. But a creature of routine, he can't bring himself to stop once he's started. So even though she never hears the end, he continues to read to the end, gets up and puts it on the table beside her bed. In the morning she'll wake up and finish what she didn't hear, and in a few years she won't even need him to start it for her.

It's already started, the inevitable act of pulling away that every child goes through when they get a little too big for their boots. (M'Umbha tells him that it's only natural, that she'll always come back to him, but he isn't sure so. She wasn't made to come back, she was made to keep on going, to be spontaneous and everything he isn't.) He drops her off to school and she turns her cheek away from him as he goes to kiss it. "It's embarrassing," is her only explanation, and she's always off skipping with her friends before he has to chance to dispute her logic.

But for now she lets him read her a book as she drifts off to sleep, allows him to tuck her snugly inside the blankets. He stands watch over her for a moment every night, lingering above his young daughter who is growing up too fast. She's already mastered two languages, and always looks far older than her seven years when she's sat at the table doing whatever assignment the teacher gave her. But with every up and every down of her chest, the years strip away until once again she's that tiny, little baby he lulled to sleep every night she cried.

In the morning she'll wake up and the wisdom that already weighs on her shoulders will flood back, but for now she's just his daughter, his little girl who he reads to sleep every night. It's only when he's absolutely sure that she's fast asleep that he allows himself to leave, but not before dipping down and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

When the door closes behind him, Nyota opens her eyes and thinks that she doesn't mind routine all that much.

2

The first time Nyota meets a real life alien she's eight and her mother takes her to work, to meet someone "really important Ny."

At first she's a little disappointed because he's not anything like the ones she's studied in holos. He looks practically like her, with two eyes and a nose and a perfectly working mouth that's currently speaking some foreign language to her mother. There's no ridged forehead and certainly no tentacles. He could pass for a human, and Nyota begins to wonder if her mother lied about him being from another planet.

But then she looks a little closer and she starts to see that while he may look human, he's definitely not. The first thing she realizes is he's green. Not bright green, but when he stands right in the light he glows a faint green underneath his skin. And then there's his ears, slanting up into a sharp point that she itches to touch. He's like an elf from one of her old classic books, the kind that work for Santa. But it's considered impolite to just go around touching peoples ears, even Nyota knows that.

So instead she concentrates on what he's saying. She's already proficient in Standard, Swahili, Chinese and Andorian, a fact she tells absolutely everyone proudly, chin jutted forwards with the inflated sense of self importance only a child can make endearing. Her mother has been pushing new languages on her since she could understand her, and she already knows that she's going to live in the stars one day, with the aliens that don't look human. So she has to be able to understand them, right? The not-so-human man is speaking something she's never heard before, a mismatch that sounds odd and complex, yet beautifully poetic. It's familiar and not, an Nyota desperately wants to pull on her mother's skirt and ask what she's speaking and what's she's saying. It's what her father calls her natural curiosity, and M'Umbha calls her inability to wait her turn.

But before she has the chance to decide, the other woman who is definitely human ducks down to her level and reaches out for her hands.

"They're speaking Vulcan." she whispers with a devilish smile, almost reading her mind. "Do you know Vulcan?"

Nyota shakes her head, and looks back up at her mother and the green elf, still involved in some deep conversation she doesn't understand. "Do you?" she asks the kindly woman.

"I do." she confirms, uttering a few phrases in that strange language just to prove it. "But as for what they're talking about, it's all terribly boring I'm afraid. Something about opening an Embassy. I bet you're even more bored than I am."

Nyota can't help but nod eagerly, because standing around listening to her mother might be good practice but it's a warm day out and she wanted to go to the water park with the rest of her friends. The woman gives her a wink and, still keeping a hold of her hand, stands back up to mutter something to the other adults. They say something back and nod before going back to their conversation.

"You know I haven't seen Earth in years. Do you think you could show me around?"

Nyota immediately realizes that she's speaking Andorian, not the Standard she had previously used, and is only too glad to drag the kind woman around the campus she's gotten to know well, pointing out everything of interest. Well, interest to her. She tells her that she knows four languages, and it turns out that she knows them too, so they switch every few minutes between them. She even teaches Nyota a few phrases in Vulcan, some basic greetings that she can't wait to impress the elf with, and tells her that she has a son a few years older than her.

"I think he'd like you." Amanda concludes as they sit with their feet dangling in the fountain.

Nyota thinks she'd like him too, if he's anything like his mother.

A few hours pass before they're called back, discussions apparently concluded for the day.

"It was lovely to meet you Nyota," Amanda smiles, giving her hands a squeeze. "I hope we do so again." She turns to her husband, raising a brow that causes him to flush green. (He looks a lot more like a Christmas elf then, but she decides not to point it out.)

"_Rom-Halan._" Nyota says, and Amanda nods in affirmation, causing a proud glow to surge through her. She offers the Ambassador her hand, and he takes it after a brief pause, leaning down to press a kiss to the back of it. It's an extremely brief gesture, and he's back up straight and almost out of the door before she realizes that it's happened.

She looks at the skin curiously, enjoying the light tingle that the gesture left.

If that's what it's like to touch a Vulcan, Nyota thinks, she plans on doing it more in the future.

3

Nyota has her first kiss - first proper kiss that is - when she's twelve. It's not anything spectacular; in fact it's a little awkward. Their noses bump together, and his tongue hesitates far too long before dipping between her lips. It's all too much saliva and not enough movement, as if she'll be scared off if he moves too much. She wants to smack him and say "hey, I was the one who initiated this, so I'm okay with it!"

But actions speak louder than words in these situations, so instead of pointing out his mistakes she takes the lead, curling her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck and trying to figure out what feels good.

When she gets home later, she thinks that the books were lying. There wasn't any fireworks and she's not addicted to it or anything.

But laying down on her bed that night, Nyota touches a finger to her lips and thinks it wasn't all that bad. She might even consider doing it again tomorrow.

4

"I'm going to be late."

The protest doesn't sound too great when it's being moaned out, and not for the first time Nyota mentally berates herself for starting this. She's a smart girl, she really should have known what it would lead to.

"You just don't like it when I'm the tease for once." A head pops up from between her legs for long enough to shoot her a grin she wants to smack off, then he's back down, licking his way up the expanse of her thigh. It was really unfair trying to argue with someone when they were doing that to you, Nyota thought to herself before she couldn't think straight anymore.

"Just hurry up." She's not a sex addict or anything, this is the first boyfriend that she's allowed past second base. But she has a class in thirty minutes, and doesn't really have time for him to be down there teasing her. It's alright for him, he got his four minutes ago. Not that she's counting obviously but, well, she doesn't have all day.

Her worries about how the hell she's going to make it back to school in time for her next lesson if he's down there all damned day are abruptly cut off when she feels the soft press of lips against her inner thigh, followed by a gentle caress of his fingers. It's such a touching gesture for a guy that she's not really sure she even likes that much, and her fingers in his hair loosen a little and turn down, caressing his cheek in turn. "Hey," she begins, biting her bottom lip between her teeth. He looks up at her and she gives him a soft smile, an apology for being such a bitch about him hurrying up.

Then all thoughts of her making it back to class on time are lost, and she remembers why she liked him in the first place.

5

It's a whole month of... whatever the hell they're doing before Gaila asks her if she's in love. The way she spits out the word, like it's not quite something she believes in, makes Nyota pause. But one look at her face shows her that she's not kidding around; she's genuinely curious about whether she's in love with Spock.

"Love is such a... a..." For a superior linguist she's not doing too well explaining herself. He has that unfortunate side effect, Nyota thinks with a wry smile. For someone who's improved her Vulcan so much, he can reduce her to a babbling mess within seconds – even when he's not even there.

"Bullshit term?" Gaila offers.

"I was going to go with 'loose definition' but sure. Bullshit works too."

"Alright, so it's loose. But you've spent practically a month joined at the lips. I just wanna know if I have to give him the talk, you know the 'what are your intentions with my Nyota' talk. Or if it's just a casual thing. A Vulcan fuck buddy. God, there's two words that should never be together in the same sentence."

Nyota can't help but be touched. She's crude about it, but this is Gaila's way of making sure she knows what she's doing. It's not exactly a secret that Vulcans are, well, Vulcan. Emotions aren't a big priority for them, and Nyota knows how difficult this thing could get. Has already gotten. And she's not sure if she loves Spock. It's definitely not a love at first sight thing, Nyota concludes. The first time she met Spock he pissed her off, making some smart-ass comment that she knows he didn't mean to be smart-assed. So clearly they're not perfect, because he irritates her beyond belief sometimes, as she knows she does with him.

And, if Nyota is being completely honest, it started off as something of a challenge. Even in her advanced classes she was the best of the best. So when Spock came along and completely blew her sense of self worth out of the water, she was a little pissed and more than a little intrigued. Trust her to fall for a nerd, Gaila had said once she learnt about Nyota's fascination with the Commander. But it hadn't been like that, not really. She was interested in his mind, and sure he was extremely gorgeous, but that hadn't been why Nyota fought so hard to win the position of his aide.

At least, that's her official story.

The attraction and subsequent start of their "illicit affair" (Gaila's words, definitely not hers) was simply... logical.

But still, as Gaila questions her about her relationship, Nyota isn't sure if love is the right word to use. Infatuation, intrigue, interest. All of those good words. But love? That's a little too strong and she thinks she's a little too young to be throwing that around. She loves spending time with him, which if it was anyone else would sound like a let down, but to Nyota is simply the truth. And while Gaila is adamant that she's dating a Vulcan for crying out loud, and Vulcans are insanely difficult, Nyota is only too happy to disagree. Spock doesn't expect anything from her, he accepts her limitations, and he doesn't pressure her into some kind of commitment. He just lets her be, and she's still growing, so she needs and deserves that space. She can allow him his difficulties in exchange for her freedom.

"I know what I'm doing." is all Nyota says, and to her credit, Gaila lets it drop.

***

Nyota doesn't think about Gaila and her questions for the next week. It's finals and when she's not studying, she's in with Spock marking essays from some of his other classes. Contrary to popular belief (yes, Gaila) they don't spend all their time making use of his private office. It's actually shocking how little they fool around, but when they do it's mind-blowing (literally) so Nyota doesn't complain.

But all her finals are done and she's finished marking the papers. Spock is bent over his PADD, switching from a look of contemplation to one of annoyance at whatever algorithm (she honestly wasn't listening when he explained it, math is not her strong point) he's deciphering about fifty times a minute. It's a complete lie when people say he only has one expression – they just have no idea how to read him. So she allows herself to simply watch him while she unravels her hair from its knot, relishing the knowledge that she has absolutely nothing better to do but watch his brow go up and down. It's almost as if she can hear him say "fascinating" every time he works something new out.

"Nyota."

His voice manages to snap her out of her daze, and she fixes him with a complacent smile. "Spock." she replies with as much sternness as she can muster. There's something about the end of a semester, the prospect of three blissful weeks in which she has absolutely nothing to do, that makes her a little giddy. He seems to pick up on this, and- yes, there goes the brow once again, and she really can't help herself so she starts to laugh.

"Have I missed something amusing?" he asks, placing the PADD on the desk as she gets up from her chair. The small action brings a smile to her face; even if he didn't like to be disturbed, he still gives one hundred percent of his attention. He doesn't complain when she settles herself in his lap either, well aware of her need to behave irrationally at times. At first he was hesitant to comply, but then she showed him that it was completely beneficial to both parties and any protests he might have had were long since lost. Men, she thinks to herself as she leans in to kiss the tip of his ears, they're all the same no matter what species.

"Nothing amusing." she assures him when she pulls back, satisfied with the glazed look in his eyes. It hadn't taken her long to pick out his weak points, and the tips of his ears always drove him crazy. Well, it was only fair since he had found hers so easily.

She shifts her weight and leans back against his chest, legs propped up on the table. "Here." she says, passing him back the PADD. His arms come around her waist to grab it, and he seems perfectly content to allow her to lay there in his arms while he works on his intense calculations. It's not a new position for them and once he realized she was perfectly able to stay still, he learnt to work easily in it. The soft drum of his stylus against the screen is soothing, so she closes her eyes and just relaxes. No work, just Spock. It sounds pretty perfect right now.

It's only when Spock is murmuring her name in her ear that she realizes she must have drifted off, and comes back to consciousness hoping she hadn't done anything too embarrassing while she was asleep. Gaila insisted she talked in her sleep, but Nyota had yet to prove that one.

"Sorry." she murmurs as she fights back a yawn, stretching her legs out against the table. It's amazing the positions you can learn to sleep in when you're a student at Starfleet, Nyota thinks to herself. Once she's a little more awake, she slides her feet off the desk and hops up from Spock, allowing him to do the same. "What time is it?"

"Almost twenty three hundreds hours." is his swift reply, and Nyota balks. It had only been twenty past seven when she finished her marking. "It is friday, is it not?"

"Mhm." Nyota says as she rushes around the room, brow furrowed as she picks up all her books and data PADDS to shove back into her bag. "And that means I have to be back before Gaila brings the party back to our room."

"I have no plans for tomorrow." Spock continues, coming up behind her. "If you do not, I believe that it would be most beneficial for you to stay in my quarters."

It's not like she's never stayed in another boys quarters before. In fact, she can recall more than once when she's woken up with McCoy in his room, while Kirk has suddenly appeared in hers. It's like a game of musical rooms sometimes. So she has nothing against staying in his quarters and watch her sleep, which she knows for a fact he will do. He told her once that he needed less than half the amount of sleep she did, and also confirmed that she does speak in her sleep. (She still requires further evidence on that however.) But so far they've only spent the night in his office, pulling a late night on various linguistic projects. She's been to his quarters, but never stayed in them. It's sort of a big step, though she's not sure he realizes that. And most of all, she's not sure if she's ready for that after four weeks of dating/conducting an illicit affair. And Gaila's question is suddenly coming back to her. Waking up with someone, or waking up to someone in this case, it was a very loving gesture. And the damned Orion has started her mind thinking.

"Beneficial?" she repeats, closing her eyes as his hands come up to rest on her hips. For someone so addicted to logic, Spock has been only too eager to learn the physical benefits of a relationship. Well, he took a little convincing, but once she told him that it was simply logical to do something that relieved stress and produced positive physical reactions, he seemed quite open to the idea.

"I believe you commented that your room mate has a propensity to bring home visitors and disturb your sleep. You will not have such difficulties if you stay in my quarters." It's extremely logical, Nyota has to admit, and his innocent reason might have worked if his hands hadn't been working their way up her sides. His advances aren't exactly passionate, they're still extremely reserved. But he's so dedicated on pleasing her, on exploring her body with a bright eyed curiosity and never-ending enthusiasm, that she lets it slide. The hand curving around her middle and up to palm her breast isn't rough like her previous boyfriends. It's soft and gentle, asking her silent permission to continue further.

She encourages him with a soft murmur in the base of her throat, so he continues his gentle ministrations with his hand, the other sliding up to the base of her neck. His fingers – which are extremely skilled – begin to dip into her skin, working out the kinks she didn't even realize she had.

"Spock." It's not exactly a warning although her voice is a lot deeper than she remembers. Just a friendly reminder not to start something he can't finish. They're still in his office and if his fingers don't stop doing what they're doing, Nyota is sure that she's not even going to make it back to his quarters.

He takes the hint and removes his hands, and even though Nyota suggested it she still can't help the small whimper at the loss of contact. She's still not sure if she's coming back to his place, and figures that she should make her mind up to avoid any awkward to and fro in the hallways.

As she's about to say that she should probably get back to her quarters, just in case, he sweeps the hair back from her shoulder, baring her neck to him. Then ever so gently he leans in and presses his lips to the skin behind her ear. It's over before her mind finishes registering the action.

When his hand lets her hair fall back across her neck, it occurs to Nyota that nobody has ever kissed her there. Her forehead, the back of her hand, her lips, even the inside of her thigh. The curve of her neck in the throes of passion yes – Spock himself has left a mark or two there for her to cover.

It's not even a place she'd think of kissing, or a particularly romantic one. But the gesture is so intimate, the act of drawing back her hair to find that single spot, and she can't think of another time someone has done that to her.

Nyota turns around, resting one hand over his middle where she knows his heartbeat is. "Your logic is sound." she grins, leaning up on her toes to press a chaste kiss to his lips. She can tell that he's curious what changed her mind, that he knows a minute ago she was about to say no and go back to her own room. But ever polite, he won't ask. And she's glad, because she's not sure how to explain it to him.

After all, it's highly illogical to fall in love with a kiss.


End file.
